Jennifer was crushed when she was told that a baby was on the
way. She wants to have children, but the right way--after she
has found the right person and is married. But in Jennifer's
country, she has no choice. "Jenn" cannot give the child up for
adoption, and she cannot terminate the pregnancy. It is her
burden to bear, for the next two decades, like it or not.
What country is it which compels a person to have a child
they don't want? Afghanistan? Saudi Arabia?
No, it's the United States--not for Jenn, but for Ken.
Ken Johnson, a 10 year veteran of the Seattle Fire
Department, wanted to be a father, but with the right woman, and
at the right time. Three years ago he and his wife separated
after six years of marriage, and each began to date. Ken had a
brief affair with "Cathy," which resulted in a pregnancy. Ken
begged Cathy to put the child up for adoption or to terminate
the pregnancy, but Cathy refused. Now Ken and his wife, who
reconciled two and a half years ago, can't start a family of
their own because almost half of Ken's net income goes to
support the child he didn't want to have. He says:
"People tell me that Cathy should have the choice whether to
keep the child or not because it's her body so it's her choice.
I agree. But what about my body? I make my living rushing into
burning buildings. I put my life and my safety on the line
every time I go to work, and now I'm on the hook for 18 years.
With the child support demands on me, there's no way I'll ever
be able to quit. What about my choice?"
Johnson is part of a growing movement of men who bristle at
being "coerced fathers," and who have enlisted in a "Choice for
Men" movement whose goals are every bit as legitimate as the
goals of the women's reproductive rights movement. They note
that one million American women legally walk away from
motherhood every year by either adoption, abortion, or
abandonment, and demand that men, like women, be given
reproductive options. They point out that, unlike women, men
have no reliable contraception available to them, since the
failure rate of condoms is substantial, and vasectomies are
generally only worthwhile for older men who have already married
and had children.
The Choice for Men movement seeks to give "coerced fathers"
the right to relinquish their parental rights and
responsibilities within a month of learning of a pregnancy, just
as mothers relinquish theirs when they choose to give their
children up for adoption. These men would be obligated to
provide legitimate financial compensation to cover natal medical
expenses, the mother's loss of income during pregnancy, etc.
The right would only apply to pregnancies which occurred outside
of marriage.
Some of those who fought for women's reproductive choices
agree with choice for men. Karen DeCrow, former president of the
National Organization for Women, writes:
"If a woman makes a unilateral decision to bring a pregnancy
to term, and the biological father does not, and cannot, share
in this decision, he should not be liable for 21 years of
support ... autonomous women making independent decisions about
their lives should not expect men to finance their choice."
To date, courts have refused to consider fathers'
reproductive rights even in the most extreme cases, including:
when child support is demanded from men who were as young as 12
when they were statutorily raped by older women; when women have
taken the semen from a used condom and inserted it in
themselves, including from condoms used only in oral sex; and
when women concealed the pregnancy from the man (denying him the
right to be a father) and then sued for back and current child
support eight or ten years later.
"It doesn't make sense to me," Ken's wife Patti says. "The
courts force my husband and I to support a child he never agreed
to, but make it financially impossible for him to have a child
with the woman he loves and married."
Glenn Sacks' columns have appeared in the San Diego
Union-Tribune, the San Francisco Chronicle, the Los Angeles
Times, the Salt Lake City Tribune, the Los Angeles Daily News,
and the Philadelphia Inquirer. He invites readers to visit his
website at www.GlennJSacks.com.
