Actress Tawny Kitaen, in danger of losing custody of her
children after being arrested for domestic violence, has just
played what family law attorneys often call "the woman's trump
card." In her recent custody petition she accused her husband,
major league baseball player Chuck Finley, of domestic violence.
Kitaen's accusation concerns the evening of April 1, when she
was arrested for attacking Finley as he was driving the couple
home. Police officers reported seeing abrasions and scrapes on
Finley's body after Kitaen had allegedly kicked Finley
repeatedly with her high-heeled shoes, grabbed his ear and
twisted it, and put her foot on top of his, forcing the
accelerator to the floor. Kitaen's petition contends that Finley
had started that argument by grabbing and twisting her leg while
he was driving.
After Kitaen's arrest, Finley was granted temporary custody
of their two daughters, ages nine and three.
Dianna Thompson, Executive Director of the American Coalition
for Fathers and Children, says that false and unfounded
accusations of domestic violence are common in custody disputes,
and that Kitaen's is "highly suspect."
She notes that Finley has no prior history of violence but
that Kitaen does--the April 1 attack on Finley, and a conflict
with a motorist in a parking lot in December for which she was
charged with malicious damage. Also, Kitaen has a recent
history of drug abuse, and research indicates that drug abuse
and domestic violence are highly correlated. Thompson adds that
Kitaen is making the accusation at the exact moment when false
accusations are the most common--when a parent is about to lose
custody of the children in a divorce proceeding.
Forensic consultant Dean Tong, author of Elusive Innocence,
believes that in the context of a custody battle, between 60%
and 80% of domestic violence accusations are false. According
to a study conducted in New York, 75% of child sexual abuse
accusations made during custody battles were shown to be
unfounded or unsubstantiated.
Thompson and Tong note that the "woman's trump card" is often
devastatingly effective.
"Family court judges are often in an impossible situation
with DV accusations," Thompson says. "Most of them realize that
the accusation is probably false, but the political costs of
believing the man are far higher than that of believing the
woman. If the judge believes the man and there is violence
later, it could haunt his or her career. But the judge risks
little by giving custody to the mother making the false
accusation, even if she later turns out to be abusive."
One of the biggest reasons for false accusations is our
adversarial family court system wherein parents fear that they
will be expelled from their children's lives if they lose
custody. Destructive custody battles and false accusations are
largely driven by this fear. Even in states where there is a
presumption of joint legal custody, the parent who is not
granted primary physical custody often faces losing the ability
to have a meaningful relationship with his or her children or
losing contact with them altogether.
The solution to the problem lies in the Shared Parenting
bills now being considered by the legislatures of seven states,
including New York, Colorado, and Michigan. Under these bills,
if divorcing parents are unable to agree on a Shared Parenting
plan, courts are instructed to implement a parenting plan which
grants equal physical time and decision-making power to both
parents. The bills allow judges to deviate from this equal
arrangement only if there is clear and convincing evidence that
one of the parents has committed acts which render that parent
unfit, such as child abuse or domestic violence.
Replacing the win/lose child custody system with Shared
Parenting won't eliminate false accusations, because there will
always be some spouses who are vengeful or psychologically
disturbed. But it certainly would reduce the high number of
false accusations, and help eliminate them as a weapon against
decent fathers.
Glenn Sacks' columns have appeared in
the Los Angeles Times,
the Houston Chronicle,
the San Francisco Chronicle,
the Philadelphia Inquirer,
the San Diego Union-Tribune,
the St. Louis Post-Dispatch,
the Los Angeles Daily News,
the Salt Lake City Tribune,
the Memphis Commercial-Appeal,
and the Washington Times.
He invites readers to visit his
website at www.GlennJSacks.com.
